Fight + Flight - Jules Machias

Initial Draw: ☆☆☆☆☆
Character Development: ☆☆☆☆☆
Plot/Writing Style: ☆☆☆☆☆
Overall: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

From the cover:

"Avery Hart lives for the thrill and speed of her dirt bike and the pounding thump of her drum kit. But after she's diagnosed with hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos syndrome, a disease that affects her joints, Avery splits her time between endless physical therapy and worrying that her fun and independence are over for good.

Sarah Bell is familiar with worry, too. For months, she's been having intense panic attacks. No matter how much she pours her anxiety into making art, she can't seem to get a grip on it, and she's starting to wonder if she'll be this way forever.

Just as both girls are reaching peak fear about what their futures hold, their present takes a terrifying turn when their school is seemingly attacked by gunmen. Though they later learn it was an active shooter drill, the traumatic experience bonds the girls together in a friendship that will change the way they view their perceived weaknesses - and help them find strength, and more, in each other."

📚📚📚 

The five-star MGMASFMRS review streak continues! (It's two reviews. Counts as a streak. Don't @ me.) I bought Fight + Flight in January of last year, along with Both Can Be True by the same author, which I chose for a Read Harder Challenge and which was also a five-star review. Guess Jules Machias is a pretty good author! This book in particular hit close to home for me in a multitude of ways. For starters, that active shooter drill. I pretty frequently skip synopses, which yields mixed results at times, and for this one, that drill fucking got me. 

I mean...I work at a school. I've seen firsthand the anxiety and fear some kids go through during lockdown drills, I've had conversations with students about how I'll do everything I can to keep them safe if anything bad happens. It's some real shit, and if my school district instituted drills like this, I would be flooding the governing board members' inboxes with emails. Even just reading about it, I was SO. MAD. Like, I had to take a break from reading. I messaged my best friends to rant about it. I was furious for these kids. I know they're made-up characters, so maybe I shouldn't be so upset, but real kids deal with that shit, and I fucking hate it. I hate it. I hate it.

Gahhhh just writing about it is making me mad all over again.

Moving on to other things that resonated strongly with me. First, Avery's worry about losing control after being diagnosed with hEDS and dealing with progressing issues. Disclaimer, I have not been diagnosed with EDS and don't plan on seeking a diagnosis, but my cousin has it and, in talking and reading about it with her, I'm fairly sure I have it too. If I do, I'm very fortunate that mine is much more mild than either my cousin's or Avery's, but it still really sucks, and it's incredibly frustrating dealing with seemingly random digestive issues, pretty constant injuries, etc. So, yeah, I felt for Avery and her worries about basically being perma-injured and unable to do the things she loves.

Then there's Sarah, her anxiety, and in particular her parents' insistence that she needed to lean on God to fix it. I mean, if that wasn't ripped straight from my lived experience with my parents...oof. I just wanted to hug her and sneak her to talk to a therapist about how she was feeling. Also, Sarah's brother and his struggles with his anger and clashes with their parents...my sweet, darling children, you deserve parents who give you what you need and don't just pressure you to fall in line and believe a certain way in order to feel the way you're "supposed" to feel.

Deep breaths.

Look...in fairness to Sarah's parents, I feel like toward the end of the book they got slightly more nuanced, but even so, they were my least favorite characters, and I think they kind of suck as people. Their presence and attitudes lent some additional realism to the book, I suppose, since there are people like that, who suck just as much as Sarah's parents, and who need a serious reality check. Avery's moms were infinitely better characters and people, though. Much prefer them, just like I much prefer people like them in real life.

Anyhow, this review is getting pretty off the rails. As you can probably tell, this book made me feel a lot of emotions. Some of them were bad, but many of them were good, and I really loved how the characters grew as the book carried on. Not just Avery and Sarah, but Mason, Avery's best friend, and Sarah's brother. Honestly, it was not a main storyline, and I haven't gotten into it because I really don't want to get too deep into story details and spoil anything, but Mason's arc was probably one of my favorite parts of the story, and he and Avery's moms were my three favorite characters. Only semi-story related, I also enjoyed how Sarah's art was incorporated into the book. I thought it was very unique and really helped to develop her character. 

So...yeah. This book is very good, and you should read it. Go ahead and do that.