Sunday, September 22, 2019

Exit, Pursued by a Bear - E.K. Johnston

My rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

From the cover:

"Hermione Winters is captain of her cheerleading team, and in tiny Palermo Heights, this doesn’t mean what you think it means. At PHHS, the cheerleaders don't cheer for the sports teams; they are the sports team—the pride and joy of a tiny town. The team's summer training camp is Hermione's last and marks the beginning of the end of… she’s not sure what. She does know this season could make her a legend. But during a camp party, someone slips something in her drink. And it all goes black.

In every class, there's a star cheerleader and a pariah pregnant girl. They're never supposed to be the same person. Hermione struggles to regain the control she's always had and faces a wrenching decision about how to move on. The assault wasn't the beginning of Hermione Winter's story and she's not going to let it be the end. She won’t be anyone’s cautionary tale."


I'm going to pretend this book description doesn't exist, because it doesn't do the book justice. I feel like on paper, yes, it describes what happens, but there's something nuanced and emotional that is missing, and I just...read the book, ok?

Exit, Pursued by a Bear starts off with Hermione and the rest of her cheerleading team pulling in to summer training camp for her last year at Palermo Heights High School. She and her best friend, Polly, have been voted co-captains, and they have high hopes and big plans for their squad. Then some asshole drugs and rapes her during a camp party, and she wakes up in the hospital with no memory of what happened beyond stumbling away from the party looking for a trash can to throw her empty cup away in. This moment marks a strange shift in her life. Hermione was raped, yes, and she has to deal with the fallout--finding out she's pregnant, getting an abortion, the way everyone walks on eggshells around her--but with the gap in her memory, the assault also doesn't feel like something that happened to her, and she has to work through that as well.

This is not how Hermione planned on starting her senior year, but it's where she is, and with a virtual army of support at her side in Polly, her parents, and her cheerleading team, she begins to work her way through what happened and learn how to navigate her altered life. There are ups and downs, stumbling blocks and moments of clarity, and through it all that support is a lifeline that keeps her going and makes her strong. That support is also what makes this book what it is: an emotional, powerful handbook for what should happen anytime someone comes forward about sexual assault. 

While the nature of this book made it tough to read at times and I definitely cried plenty, I found myself thinking often as I read of the experience I had with Asking for It by Louise O'Neill and juxtaposing Hermione's experience with Emma's. The sad truth is that people who come forward about assault tend to have experiences closer to Emma's (horrible, for those who have not read Asking for It) than to Hermione's. It gave me hope seeing Polly fiercely defend her friend, seeing her squad unite in looking out for her, and watching as Hermione found people in her corner whom she never expected to be there. Was it neater and less realistic than this experience would probably actually be? Sure. But that's what makes it such an excellent road map for how to be supportive to loved ones after an assault. Read this book. Share it with the people in your life, especially the men. Let's all learn how to be allies.