Read Harder update

 Let's see, let's see...over the past month, I have finished The Kiss Quotient, shared my thoughts about that book, and finished Darling. I didn't write a review of that one because I sped through it so quickly and my brain was kind of like...holy shit, what did I just read?! After I finished it. It was a darker book than I typically go for, but I liked the way they handled it...dark without being horrifying or morbid just for shock value. It was very good, and an interesting spin on Peter Pan. One out of two, not bad?

I've also started reading Maus, although I'm only like a third or so of the way through. I'm taking this one slower, but it's a very good read. As noted in my previous post, I'm started Powers and Thrones too, but my ebook loan expired, so I'm waiting to get it back. I might need to get a physical copy, it's hard for me to do that much reading on a Kindle. In fact...yes. I just paused this recap to put a hold on it at the library. Some books you just need to read in their physical form, and this is one of them.

Over the next month, I'll keep working my way through the above two books, and if I finish I'll be continuing on to The Taking of Jake Livingston (prompt #19, Read a horror novel by a BIPOC author), and we will see how that goes, since as previously noted horror isn't really my thing. 😬 If, at long last, my hold for While Justice Sleeps comes in, I'll be finishing that (FINALLY) too!

I've got to say, I'm impressed with how well I'm doing with these challenges after getting back on track earlier in the year! Knocking them out of the park!

What am I even reading right now?

I can't keep track, somebody help me.

Okay, fine, I know what I'm reading, but also every book I lay eyes on right now sounds so good. So then I'm like "hey, why not start reading another one? It's probably fine!" So then I end up reading a thousand books at the same time and finishing none of them. We've all been there, right? I did a pretty good job finishing several books during Fall Break, at least, that's something. And the day before I went back to work I realized I had checked out Attack of the Black Rectangles by A.S. King from work and forgotten about it, so I read that in one sitting (so good!).

My top books right now and take on them so far:

1. The Night & Its Moon by Piper CJ - I had a pretty good read on what to expect from this before I started it, and reality is coming pretty close to expectation. I find the writing a little overly wordy and flowery, but I'm still enjoying the story, although I wish it were faster paced.

2. Maus by Art Spiegelman - I mean...what do you even say about this book? Everyone should read it. 

3. Powers and Thrones: A New History of the Middle Ages - This is a fucking TOME, but it's very informative and an interesting read!

Add to my already impossible to finish TBR list! What are you reading right now?

The Kiss Quotient - Helen Hoang

Initial Draw: ☆☆☆

Character Development: ☆☆

Plot/Writing Style: ☆☆

Overall: ⭐⭐⭐

From the cover:

"Stella Lane thinks math is the only thing that unites the universe. She comes up with algorithms to predict customer purchases--a job that has given her more money than she knows what to do with, and way less experience in the dating department than the average thirty-year-old.

It doesn't help that Stella has Asperger's and French kissing reminds her of a shark getting its teeth cleaned by pilot fish. Her conclusion: she needs lots of practice--with a professional. Which is why she hires escort Michael Phan. The Vietnamese and Swedish stunner can't afford to turn down Stella's offer, and agrees to help her check off all the boxes on her lesson plan--from foreplay to more-than-missionary position...

Before long, Stella not only learns to appreciate his kisses, but crave all of the other things he's making her feel. Their no-nonsense partnership starts making a strange kind of sense. And the pattern that emerges will convince Stella that love is the best kind of logic..."

 

I picked this book because, aside from the outdated reference to Asperger's, the plot sounded intriguing. From the description, I expected it to be sweet, maybe a little nerdy, and something of a slow burn romance-wise. Imagine my surprise when I turn on the audiobook for the first time on my drive to work and within the first two chapters Michael is gripping his cock and masturbating to just shy of completion in preparation for his first "date" with Stella.

I mean...I know it's a romance but it read more contemporary fiction and less bodice-ripper to me, so it took me a lot by surprise being auditorily accosted by cocks at like 6:30 in the morning pulling into an effing ELEMENTARY SCHOOL. Slow burn this was decidedly not. Also, I take issue with "before long, Stella not only learns to appreciate his kisses, but crave all of the other things he's making her feel..." in the description because "before long" is basically immediately. And that brings me to my biggest issue with this book: Every bit of the plot felt manufactured.

I mean, we start off with Stella eating with her parents, hearing about the pressure from her mom to have grandkids (even though Stella has never actually dated anyone) and witnessing firsthand Stella's discomfort with being touched. Alright, I'm following. If you don't like being touched in general, you're probably not going to be super comfortable with doing the sex, particularly if you've never been in a relationship.

Then we're treated to a description of the last time she'd had sex (which I believe was her third time ever), and we learn that her only sexual encounters thus far have been obligatory sex with random blind dates who have essentially sexually assaulted her after it was clear that she was not enthusiastically consenting to anything they were engaging in. Ummmmmmm. That's certainly...something.😐

Enter Michael, the cock gripper himself. They meet up for the first time, and while there is a little tension and anxiety on Stella's part, she almost immediately is going weak-kneed and horny for him. Which is hard for me to wrap my brain around, both taking into account her aversion to touch in general and keeping in mind that literally her only other experience with intimacy has been so decidedly negative. I mean, at the risk of getting into TMI, I have been sexually assaulted before, and while everyone reacts differently, I just do not buy being instantaneously comfortable with someone just because they take things a tiny bit slow. Nope. No way.

Immediately comfortable Stella is, though, and after a tiny bit of turbulence, the book basically becomes nonstop filthy sex. Not only that, but Michael and Stella have pretty much fallen in love at their first meeting, and they're essentially dating, but of course they're not actually dating because [insert trivial manufactured reason Stella thinks Michael doesn't actually like her] and [insert trivial manufactured reason Michael thinks Stella doesn't actually like him]. It didn't even feel like there was plot conflict for like 80% of the book because it was just Stella and Michael boning down in between forced introspection about how much they liked being together and how sad they were that it could never possibly work out for real because mumble mumble mumble...

Things do finally come to a head, probably 85% of the way into the book, in an incredibly convincing and not at all contrived way (insert sarcmarkⓒ here). The not-couple breaks up, sending both of them into a vicious downward spiral in which Michael contemplates fucking someone else, since Stella totally is (?), while Stella decides she needs to quit her job (?) to become a doctor instead. Fortunately, while all these dark thoughts are going down, Stella goes out to dinner with a trashbag of a coworker, Michael runs into them, and after totally necessary shenanigans, the couple is happily reunited. Not only that, but Michael informs her the moment they get back together that he will be proposing to her in three months, so she has time to mentally prepare. I'm sorry...what?! How incredibly Mormon of you, Michael.

Anyway, congratulations to the happy couple, but even more congratulations to me for not having to listen to this book anymore. Did I hate it? No. Did I want to finish it? Also no. Did it make me like it approximately 78% less than I would have otherwise that Michael on multiple occasions dictated to Stella that her vagina MUST be referred to as a pussy and that he basically ordered her to wear her hair down and wear sundresses at one point? Absolutely. Did I also not love that in one chapter there were approximately infinity references to Stella's "sex," which is possibly my least favorite euphemism for a person's bits? I truly did not. Am I just asking rambling questions now because there were so many little gripes I had with this book? You nailed it.

Read this book or don't, I don't care. If you do, I recommend avoiding reading in public, since so much of it is extra spicy, but you do you.