From the cover:
"TRIGGER WARNING: Boys will be boys is never an excuse.
It’s been two years since the night that changed Ashley’s life. Two years since she was raped by her brother’s teammate. And a year since she sat in a court and watched as he was given a slap-on-the-wrist sentence. But the years have done nothing to stop the pain or lessen the crippling panic attacks that make her feel like she’s living a half-life.
It’s been two years of hell for Derek. His family is totally messed up and he and his sister are barely speaking. He knows she partially blames him for what happened, and totally blames him for how he handled the aftermath. Now at college, he has to come to terms with what happened, and the rape culture that he was inadvertently a part of that destroyed his sister’s life.
When it all comes to a head at Thanksgiving, Derek and Ashley have to decide if their relationship is able to be saved. And if their family can ever be whole again."
Oof, this book. This is a difficult topic to write about, but it's so important when it comes to opening a dialogue to have stories like this out there, and while it feels weird to read a book about a 14-year-old being raped and say "this book is important, and everyone needs to read it," well...this book is important. And everyone needs to read it.
The use of dual narrators, telling the story from both Ashley and Derek's perspectives, was an excellent approach. As Derek and his friends learn, it can't just be women, male victims, or people with sisters/wives/daughters fighting this fight...men with no other stake in the game besides a desire to be a good person need to become allies, and what better way to help young men along that path than to give them a role model like Derek? Watching Derek grapple with his mistakes was almost as painful as reading Ashley's story, but it was also inspiring to see him learn from them, ask questions, and start to become a better, stronger person. We need more narratives like his in the world.
With Ashley's story, the court excerpts at the start of chapters were a punch to the gut, and they help the reader right away to get into Ashley's head and try to feel what she was and is still feeling. Her chapters were hard to read at times, but they should be hard to read. I don't want to meet the person who reads this book and doesn't struggle through it.
One thing that really hit me hard was her realization that there is no justice. No matter what happens, nothing is going to fix what happened to her. She will always have to live with it, it will always be a struggle, and nothing about that is just or fair. Another heartbreaking piece of her narrative was the question of why the bright future of a high school football player was more important than her bright future. That is a narrative that is spun so often in cases like this...look at Brock Turner as a real-world example. He's so talented, he has such a bright future, something like this shouldn't define the rest of his life! But...it's fine that it will define the rest of his victim's life? He chose this, they didn't. Nothing about that is acceptable, and the fact that so many people don't even think about the victim in cases like this is disheartening.
Ultimately, I think what makes this book most important is that nothing about it felt like fiction to me. Every word, every experience was real. Ashley, Derek, and their family may be made up, Vic may not have ever existed, but the things that happened to them have happened to other people. Do happen to other people, every day. Read this book, then share it with someone you know. Build more allies. Put less pressure on women to attempt to police the behaviors of others and shift that responsibility where it belongs. Books like this can help change the world.
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