Honestly Ben - Bill Konigsberg

Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐

From the cover: "Ben Carver is back to normal. He’s getting all As in his classes at the Natick School. He was just elected captain of the baseball team. He’s even won a big scholarship for college, if he can keep up his grades. All that foolishness with Rafe Goldberg last semester is over now, and he just needs to be a Carver, work hard, and stay focused.

Except…There’s Hannah, a gorgeous girl who attracts him and distracts him. There’s his mother, whose quiet unhappiness he’s noticing for the first time. School is harder, the pressure higher, the scholarship almost slipping away. And there’s Rafe, funny, kind, dating someone else…and maybe the real normal that Ben needs."


I loved Openly Straight by Bill Konigsberg, so I was excited to finally have time to read the sequel, Honestly Ben. Ben is a man after my own heart, a pusher and an over-achiever for whom no accomplishment ever feels truly like it's enough, and for the most part I loved his story. It pulled at my heart strings reading about him struggling to decide how he felt, whether he was gay, bi, or...something else? And I empathized with him pushing back against people who tried to label him. Being able to put someone in a neat little labeled box may make it easier for you to feel like you understand them, but not all labels fit so neatly, and sometimes telling yourself you understand someone when you don't causes more harm than good. Kudos to Ben for resisting the labels people wanted to slap on him and being true to himself.

That being said, I did have issues with a couple of things in the book.

First, Hannah. Were we supposed to like her? It seemed like we were, but my god...I did not find her endearing. I particularly didn't love her reaction after the dance. I get the frustration, but dude. Romantic history aside, Rafe and Ben are best friends and Rafe just got dumped. Roles reversed, Hannah wouldn't have wanted to be there for her friend? Not only that, but if she wasn't cool with going home early, she should have said so. It seemed like Hannah was meant to be this evolved, high-thinking woman, but she came off as incredibly childish and obnoxious. No thanks.

Second, Ben's dad. Um...are we just not going to address how abusive his behavior is? I was really hoping for some ending closure where his mom separated from him and told him he needed to sort himself out if he wanted them to be a family. But no...instead we get a letter to him from Ben and...nothing. As someone who grew up with a similar father, it was difficult to read about all the crappy things his dad did/said and then not see any resolution. I know there were a lot of important issues already being addressed, so throwing one more into the mix is tough, but good god, of all the things to gloss over, an emotionally abusive, controlling father/husband is not it. Gah.

Anyway...those two characters aside, this book was great. I love Ben and his friends, and Konigsberg did an awesome job of balancing emotions. There were parts that tugged at my heart strings and made me tear up, and then there were sections where I was laughing out loud ("is my life force shit?" was a big one). Fantastic read.