At the End of the River Styx - Michelle Kulwicki

Initial Draw: ☆☆☆☆
Character Development: ☆☆
Plot/Writing Style: ☆☆
Overall: ⭐⭐⭐

From the cover:

"Before he can be reborn, Zan has spent 499 years bound in a 500-year curse to process souls for the monstrous Ferryman - and if he fails he dies.

In Portland, Bastian is grieving. He survived a car accident that took his mother and impulse-purchased a crumbling bookstore with the life insurance money.

But in sleep, death's mark keeps dragging Bastian into Zan's office. It shouldn't be a problem to log his soul and forget he ever existed. But when Zan follows Bastian through his memories of grief and hope, Zan realizes that he is not ready for Bastian to die.

The boys borrow time hiding in the memories of the dead while the Ferryman hunts them, and Zan must decide if he's willing to give up his chance at life to save Bastian - and Bastian must decide if he's willing to keep living if it means losing Zan."

📚📚📚

Intriguing concept for this Owlcrate book that I will once again argue does not qualify as YA. It hooked me enough that I started it pretty quickly (I have six Owlcrate books waiting ahead of this one but let it jump the line), but sadly I don't know that it fully delivered. Last quarter of the book? Totally. Well...mostly. I found the ending emotional and kind of lovely, just a touch unsatisfying. Maybe like 4-4.5 stars. Unfortunately, that lovely and emotional last quarter of a book is preceded by the first three quarters, which draaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaag.

Like...so little happens. I genuinely don't think you get much more information or character development from the first hundred or so pages than you start out with from the first few chapters. The pace is way too slow, with lots of hints at upcoming information that, by the time they come, you're like oh ok, I kinda figured. And while I felt Bastian's grief, the two main conflicts - struggling with his relationships and the expectations of his friends/brother and his struggle with the Ferryman/Zan - were both basically repeats of the same interaction over and over with very little change or growth to the action. 

It was kind of a letdown, especially because even though it seemed impossible to tell people about being marked for death, as a reader I was like ok at some point he's going to open up to his friends and tell them about this, right? And they're all going to work together to come up with some solution, right? WRONG! He's just going to repeat the same interaction with them over and over until you get far enough into the book that he decides he's going to try to open up and rely on his friends!

Oh, no, wait, he does finally tell his brother about it...hope! A light at the banks of the river of death! But then...nothing comes of it. Soooooo what was the point of that?

Similarly, he has a handful of mostly negative interactions with Zan, and then pretty apropos of nothing it's like nah, actually, these two are in love. Truly, there was more relationship development in the last couple chapters than in the entire rest of the book combined, which is wild.

Bah, I don't know. I feel like rating this overall at three stars is a wee bit generous, especially given all my griping in this review, but with the exception of the END end, I really did find the later chapters enjoyable, so I don't want to rate it too low. I just feel like there was a lot of potential and it fell short. Could have been great, ended up being meh. The cover art and sprayed edges on the special edition version though? Beautiful. And you know...I feel like people say "don't judge a book by its cover" like something ugly on the outside might be beautiful on the inside, but really it should be used to mean the opposite - don't think something is good just because it's pretty.

Reboot Rereads - Emergency Contact

Hahaaaaaaa, I checked to see if I had reviewed this before and was like "whoa, I haven't?!" And then I read the blurb that I wrote when I included it on a book list:

"I double checked whether I had reviewed this book on the blog before, and at first I was a little surprised that I hadn't. Then I realized that of course I haven't reviewed it here, because I don't know what to say. This book is hard to describe, but perfect to read. It's Penny's first year of college, and...that's what it's about. Navigating somewhere new. Learning how to live with roommates, making new friends. Managing your anxiety. It's a book about real life. If you read this one and don't like it, I'm begging you, please don't tell me, because it is probably in my top three favorite books of all time, and I love it so much that it makes me nervous even recommending it."

It's great that after 38 years together, I continue to surprise myself. Anyway, yes, I have not written an actual review of Emergency Contact before, but I have included it on not one but two recommendation lists, so there's that. As quoted above, it's a great story about new experiences, figuring out how to handle anxiety (and depression), and navigating life. While I will note that it came out in 2018 and consequently suffers from an overuse of ableist terms that many of us have since learned are words you shouldn't use, overall the book is still solid and I still greatly enjoyed the story. Do what I do and substitute a different word in your head, and then it totally holds up.

While there's a lot that I adore about this book, one thing that jumped out at me more upon this read than it did in prior reads is the way that our perception of ourselves differs from the way others see us. Sam, for example, hates his body and has a ton of self talk about how ugly he is. Meanwhile, both Penny and Mallory are falling over themselves at how hot he is. Penny tells herself how weird and boring she is, that she's short and her thighs are too big, et cetera. But Sam finds her quick-witted, funny, and beautiful, and a classmate is also into her and asks her out, so clearly her perception of herself isn't true. Watching that all play out is a great reminder that we often are our own harshest critics. It can be easy in a world where we're being inundated with messages about not being good enough to pick ourselves apart, compare ourselves to others, and constantly look for things that are "wrong" with us...but damn, wouldn't it be more fun and a lot less burdensome to try to see the amazing things in ourselves that other people see in us?

Anyway, just something the book made me think about. For the record, if you're reading this, know that I think you're incredible.

Little and Lion - Brandy Colbert

My rating: ⭐⭐

From the cover:

"When Suzette comes home to Los Angeles from her boarding school in New England, she isn't sure if she'll ever want to go back. L.A. is where her friends and family are (along with her crush, Emil). And her stepbrother, Lionel, who has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, needs her emotional support.

But as she settles into her old life, Suzette finds herself falling for someone new...the same girl her brother is in love with. When Lionel's disorder spirals out of control, Suzette is forced to confront her past mistakes and find a way to help her brother before he hurts himself--or worse."

There was a lot to look forward to going into this book...diverse books, characters of different races and backgrounds, LGBT (particularly B!) representation, frank discussion of mental illness...but not a lot that I ended up loving, sadly. The synopsis wrote checks that the actual content couldn't cash. As a disclaimer, I do think that the meh-ness of this book for me was partially due to the fact that I listened to the audiobook and was not in love with the reader. However, I also felt that the pacing of the book was slow and that way too much time was spent hashing and rehashing the same small issues, rather than developing the story. The beginning was intriguing, but then it went nowhere. Readers (or listeners, in this case) shouldn't have to slog through 90% of a book before something actually happens, and even when things finally DID come to a head, the drama of it all fell flat for me. I give this an A+ for concept but a C- for execution.

Two Boys Kissing - David Levithan

My rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

From the cover:

"New York Times  bestselling author David Levithan tells the based-on-true-events story of Harry and Craig, two 17-year-olds who are about to take part in a 32-hour marathon of kissing to set a new Guinness World Record—all of which is narrated by a Greek Chorus of the generation of gay men lost to AIDS. 

While the two increasingly dehydrated and sleep-deprived boys are locking lips, they become a focal point in the lives of other teen boys dealing with languishing long-term relationships, coming out, navigating gender identity, and falling deeper into the digital rabbit hole of gay hookup sites—all while the kissing former couple tries to figure out their own feelings for each other."

First off, David Levithan is an amazing narrator. I want him to read everything to me. Second, this book is not a light read, but my damn, it is amazing. The main narrative is about Harry and Craig as they try to break the Guinness World Record for longest kiss, but the story branches off to follow several other boys--Peter and Neil, a couple in a long-term relationship, Avery and Ryan, who meet at the start of the book, Cooper, who is only out online and struggling with his mental health, and finally Tariq, who early in the book is attacked on the street for being gay. Like I said...not a light read.

The narration by the "Greek Chorus" of gay men lost to AIDS took a bit for me to get used to, but after the first couple of chapters I was hooked. All the stories have their heartbreaking moments, but a few hit me particularly hard, like Avery and Ryan's experience at the abandoned mini-golf place, Neil's experience with coming out to his family, and basically everything about Cooper's story. Also, I've never kissed someone for 32 hours before (oof, no thank you), but Harry and Craig's experience was so descriptive that I felt what they felt. Reading about their aching backs, their thirst, their discomfort made me feel those things. And what I really felt was the support of their friends and family throughout the experience. When the theater group worked together to get more lights for the broadcast, when they formed a wall to protect the boys after someone drove by and egged Harry...seeing the way everyone pulled together to show their love for the two of them was beautiful. This book will make you feel everything. It's amazing. You should read it.

Paper Towns - John Green

My rating: ⭐⭐⭐

From the cover:

"Quentin Jacobsen has spent a lifetime loving the magnificently adventurous Margo Roth Spiegelman from afar. So when she cracks open a window and climbs into his life—dressed like a ninja and summoning him for an ingenious campaign of revenge—he follows. After their all-nighter ends, and a new day breaks, Q arrives at school to discover that Margo, always an enigma, has now become a mystery. But Q soon learns that there are clues—and they're for him. Urged down a disconnected path, the closer he gets, the less Q sees the girl he thought he knew..."

So Quentin Jacobsen loves his next door neighbor from afar for most of his life, even though they stopped hanging out at a fairly young age. Then one night she drags him into an epic andventure before disappearing abruptly the next morning. Following her disappearance, Quentin, his two best friends, and Margo's best friend-turned-Quentin's-weird-friend's-girlfriend all begin trying to solve the mystery of her disappearance. At first Quentin worries that she committed suicide, but the more he finds out, the more he hopes she's still out there somewhere...waiting for him.

Mehhhhhhh I just don't know. I wasn't overly enamored with this book, but it had its good points. At times Quentin was kind of a whiny jackass, but he and his friends also had pretty good senses of humor. The thing I liked the most about the book was the emphasis on how your perception of a person =/= who that person really is. Overall, it wasn't a bad read...just not my favorite.