Reboot Rereads - To All the Boys I've Loved Before

I've never written an individual review for this book/series, but BOY OH BOY have I included it in an excessive number of book lists! I mentioned it in one (as a case for polyamory over love triangles), and I've featured it in at least four, including my top ten favorite series, books to read if you like Animal Crossing, easy to read books (hello, reboot rereads!), and books that feel like a hug. This series is so cozy and comforting, and I continue to adore it. (Also the movies, although I don't know why, but it endlessly bothers me that they decided in the movie series to change the setting to the Pacific Northwest instead of Virginia. Just, why? And I wish they had left it being Peter that got the video taken down.)

Lara Jean, so sweet, so firm in her standards. Kitty, possibly the best character ever written. Margot, eh. But everyone else...wonderful. It's low stakes that feel high stakes, because who amongst us doesn't remember when minor teen dramas ruled our lives? Lovely series to revisit, and I recommend it to anyone looking for something low-stakes and comforting to get into.

You'll Be the Death of Me - Karen M. McManus

Initial draw: ✰✰✰✰✰
Character development: ✰✰✰✰✰
Plot/Writing style: ✰✰✰✰✰
My rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

From the cover:

Type A Ivy lost a student council election to the class clown, and now she has to face the school, humiliated. Heartthrob Mateo is burned out--he's been working two jobs since his family's business failed. And outsider Cal just got stood up . . . again.

Ivy, Mateo, and Cal used to be close. Now all they have in common is Carlton High and the beginning of a very bad day.

So when Cal pulls into campus late for class and runs into Ivy and Mateo, it seems like the perfect opportunity to turn a bad day around. They'll ditch and go into the city. Just the three of them, like old times. Except they've barely left the parking lot before they run out of things to say . . .

. . . until they spot another Carlton High student skipping school--and follow him to the scene of his own murder. In one chance move, their day turns from dull to deadly. And it's about to get worse.

It turns out Ivy, Mateo, and Cal still have some things in common. They all have a connection to the dead kid. And they're all hiding something.

Now they're all wondering--could it be that their chance reconnection wasn't by chance after all?

Look...in the interest of full disclosure, I'm not sure Karen M. McManus could write something that I wouldn't like. She's just...so good. Even if this wasn't her book, though, the premise really appealed to me. Friends who began to grow apart as they moved from elementary to middle school until ultimately they started traveling in different circles? Who hasn't lived that? I can certainly think of some friends from my earlier school days who, if presented with a chance in high school to spend a nostalgic day with, I would have leapt at the chance. And how could Ivy, Mateo, and Cal have predicted that this chance to recreate their "best day ever" would turn out to be a nightmare instead? 

The twists and turns as the trio moved through their day kept me on the edge of my seat, and there were some delightful surprise moments from some of the side characters that delighted me as well. This was not a book I wanted to put down, and I'm already looking forward to reading it again when it comes out!

Concrete Rose - Angie Thomas

My rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

From the cover:

"If there's one thing seventeen-year-old Maverick Carter knows, it's that a real man takes care of his family. As the son of a former gang legend, Mav does that the only way he knows how: dealing for the King Lords. With this money he can help his mom, who works two jobs while his dad's in prison. Life's not perfect, but with a fly girlfriend and a cousin who always has his back, Mav's got everything under control.

Until, that is, Maverick finds out he's a father.

Suddenly he has a baby, Seven, who depends on him for everything. But it's not so easy to sling dope, finish school, and raise a child. So when he's offered the chance to go straight, he takes it. In a world where he's expected to amount to nothing, maybe Mav can prove he's different.

When King Lord blood runs through your veins, though, you can't just walk away. Loyalty, revenge, and responsibility threaten to tear Mav apart, especially after the brutal murder of a loved one. He'll have to figure out for himself what it really means to be a man."

I would give this a thousand stars if I could. Even just typing this description after finishing reading it, I'm tearing up a little. This is a book that will stick with you. I haven't been able to stop thinking about Maverick and his experiences since I finished reading it. Angie Thomas, you've done it again. 

You do not have to have read The Hate U Give to read this, but having read both, one of the things I appreciate about this book existing is that while so often in YA you get the teenager's perspective and see very little of the parents, this gives us a look into Maverick's experience as a teenager and helps us understand his background and where he's coming from as a parent in The Hate U Give. It made me appreciate Maverick even more. (And appreciate Lisa even more, which...I already loved her, but god damn. She's incredible.)

Something else that really stood out to me was the role that Mr. Wyatt played in Maverick's life. The characters in this book may be fictional, but there are Mavericks all over the place in the US, and we all hear people folx in situations like his as though they aren't even human and don't deserve basic decency. I've done a lot of research and training about Adverse Childhood Experiences and how trauma can impact kids' lives as they grow through adulthood, and reading this was a kick in the gut thinking about how many children grow up being fed the same messages that Maverick is, basically telling them not even to try because they're worthless and no matter what they do they won't ever amount to anything. But watching Maverick interact with Mr. Wyatt also reminded me of the studies that show how much of a positive impact having just one adult outside of their family circle who believes in them and who they can trust can have on kids in traumatic situations. Mr. Wyatt is that person for Maverick. We need to be those people for the kids in our lives.

Anyway...sorry, this really isn't so much a book review as it is me getting teary eyed thinking about how important trauma-informed practices are and how all kids deserve to be loved and believed in. Just trust, this book is incredible. Read it and sit with it awhile. 

(And also, always wear a condom. Maybe two, just in case. 😉)

It's Not Like It's a Secret - Misa Sugiura

My rating: ⭐⭐⭐

From the cover:

"Sixteen-year-old Sana Kiyohara has too many secrets. Some are small, like how it bothers her when her friends don't invite her to parties. Some are big, like the fact that she's pretty sure her father's having an affair. And then there is the one that she barely even admits to herself, the one about how she might have a crush on her best friend.

When Sana and her family move to California, she begins to wonder if it's finally time for her to be honest with her friends and family, especially after she meets Jamie Ramirez. Jamie is beautiful and smart and unlike anyone Sana's ever known before. The only problems are: Sana is pretty sure Jamie's friends hate her, Jamie's ex isn't totally out of the picture, Sana's new friend Caleb has more-than-friendly feelings for her, and things with her dad feel like they're coming to a head. She always figured that the hardest thing would be to tell people that she wanted to date a girl, but as Sana quickly learns, telling the truth is easy...what comes after it, though, is a whole lot more complicated."

Spoilers included in this review. You have been warned.

The first half of this book:

The second half of this book:

So...I split the difference, averaged out the 4-star start and 2-star ending, and gave it 3 stars overall. It set out with such promise. Sana finds out over the summer that she'll be moving to California before the start of the new school year. Sad face, except that her friends are kind of shitty and openly racist, so she bucks up, makes the best of it, and quickly makes better friends at her new school. Yay! One of those friends is Jamie Ramirez, who she has a meet cute with while purchasing new sheets and immediately develops a crush on. Then you learn that Jamie likes Sana back, and...😍. Sana comes out to (most of) her friends, who are super supportive, and things seem all set to proceed in a blissfully happy manner.

This, of course, is when it goes off the rails. And not off the rails in the typical book fashion, where obviously conflict must take place to further the plot, otherwise why are we even reading the book? But off the rails like the author tried to do WAY too much, which led to a rushed, unsatisfactory ending and to some of the plot points not even being wrapped up. What disappointed me most was that out of what I would consider the three main plot points - Sana's dad cheating, Sana saying and believing racist stuff about Latinx people, and Jamie spending time with her ex, leading to Sana cheating on her as a result - the most compelling storyline was the one that ended up not being addressed. 

Frankly, Sana's dad "cheating" didn't serve the story and should not have been included at all, which of course meant it featured most heavily and was dragged out for far too long. Sana cheating on Jamie with Caleb is handled horribly, and I've got to say, let boys and girls just be friends, for fuck sake! I liked Jamie and Caleb as friends, and I didn't understand pulling Caleb into a manufactured conflict when an actual, great, needs-to-be-addressed conflict was right there in the form of internalized racism. This comes up about halfway through the book, Jamie and her friends confront Sana about it, and then...nothing. It literally disappears until the last chapter of the book. 

Sana listening to her girlfriend and making an effort to unlearn the things she grew up believing would have been way more engaging than watching Sana stalk her dad and treat everyone she cares about like shit. I get that Sana is a teenager, and remembering myself as a teenager, there are definitely things she did that I would have handled just as poorly. That said, even teenagers live and learn, and that was my biggest problem with this book. Throughout the story, Sana goes through repeated cycles of contemplation, epiphany about how to do better, and then proceeding with the same course of action she was on before. Wrapping everything up super neatly in a last chapter that was basically an unnecessary epilogue does not equal development as a character, and without the main character changing and growing throughout the book, what is even the point?

If you, like me, are interested in reading more books with Japanese or Japanese American main characters, below is a list of books I'll be adding to my TBR list. (Also, for anyone interested in nerding out on racism in punctuation and why many folx are advocating for dropping the use of a hyphen when referencing individuals of dual heritage, this is a fantastic article about it!)

1. We Are Not Free by Traci Chee - Historical fiction about the wrongful incarceration of Japanese Americans in camps during World War II.

2. Displacement by Kiku Hughes - A graphic novel about a teenager pulled back in time to witness her grandmother's incarceration in a World War II internment camp.

3. I Love You So Mochi by Sarah Kuhn - A present-day realistic fiction about a fashion-obsessed teenager who takes a trip to Japan to visit her estranged grandparents over spring break.

4. Starfish by Akemi Dawn Bowman - A present-day realistic fiction about the main character's anxiety and mental health struggles in the wake of not getting into the school of their dreams.

5. Ink and Ashes by Valynne E. Maetani - A mystery about a teenager who discovers shortly after her father's death that he was...GASP!...a member of the yakuza.

6. Keep it Together, Keiko Carter by Debbi Michiko Florence - Realistic middlegrade fiction about starting seventh grade and navigating the friend drama that inevitably comes with it.

7. Xander and the Lost Island of Monsters by Margaret Dilloway - A middlegrade fantasy about two boys who find themselves pulled into a mythical adventure they may not be quite prepared for.

The Hundred Lies of Lizzie Lovett - Chelsea Sedoti

My rating: ⭐

From the cover:

"Hawthorn wasn't trying to insert herself into a missing person's investigation. Or maybe she was. But that's only because Lizzie Lovett's disappearance is the one fascinating mystery their sleepy town has ever had. Bad things don't happen to popular girls like Lizzie Lovett, and Hawthorn is convinced she'll turn up at any moment - which means the time for speculation is now.

So Hawthorn comes up with her own theory for Lizzie's disappearance. A theory way too absurd to take seriously...at first. The more Hawthorn talks, the more she believes. And what better way to collect evidence than to immerse herself in Lizzie's life? Like getting a job at the diner where Lizzie worked and hanging out with Lizzie's boyfriend. After all, it's not as if he killed her - or did he?"

Sooooo this book is problematic as hell, and I'm shocked that none of the reviews I looked through when I first started reading it mention that (rest assured, I'll be getting into why, and be warned - it will involve spoilers). There were some that mentioned how unlikable Hawthorn was as a character, which I will heartily second. She's a senior in high school, but I kept forgetting that because of how childish and bratty she was. I'm all for writing teenagers like they are teenagers and not miniature adults who happen to still be in school, but this was so far beyond that...even Hawthorn's best friend, brother, and parents spent pretty much the entire book begging her to not be so self-involved and immature. Eesh.

Then we get into the whole inserting herself into Lizzie Lovett's life to "investigate" her theory (her theory, by the way? That Lizzie is a werewolf. I mean, for fuck sake, a young woman is missing and, being realistic, probably dead, and Hawthorn is like lolz she's not missing, everyone, she's a werewolf!) She goes to the diner where Lizzie works and takes Lizzie's job, and then when Lizzie's boyfriend comes in to get a little quiet time away from the missing person's investigation for his long-time girlfriend, she immediately brings Lizzie up and tells him her werewolf theory. Which takes us to the first reason I found this book so problematic: Enzo goes along with it, and the two end up in a relationship.

Why is that problematic, you ask? Well, Lizzie was a senior in high school when Hawthorn was a freshman. Three years later, Lizzie is at least 20, and if I'm recalling correctly, Enzo was a few years older. Even to begin with, it was weird to me that a grown ass man in his early/mid twenties was like "ok, yeah, let's hang out with a high school kid and pretend my missing girlfriend is actually a werewolf," but then it progresses to the point where Enzo and Hawthorn SLEEP TOGETHER, and I was like um. What.

And not only that, but later on in the book after the two have "broken up" (it's never a conversation, it just kind of...happens...) Enzo gets into a relationship with a classmate of Hawthorn's. I mean, I get that your girlfriend disappeared and was later confirmed to be dead, which is traumatic as hell, but again, this is a GROWN. ASS. MAN. Dating not one but TWO seventeen-year-old girls. How did this not come up in ANY of the reviews I read?! 🤮

CW before proceeding: Discussion of suicide

So we've got predatory behavior from a traumatized adult man, why not throw more problematic content in. Toward the end of the book, after a far too long werewolf investigation, we learn that some hikers discovered Lizzie's body. While everyone suspected some kind of foul play, it turns out Lizzie died by suicide the night she went missing. I'm not going to get into the particulars, but the book sure as shit did, including speculation about why it happened the way it did, which is bad enough on it's own. But then following the discovery of her body, there are multiple comments to Hawthorn about how Lizzie gave up and how Hawthorn is stronger than Lizzie was, so she needs to fight, and I just...

Fuck anyone who talks about suicide like that. Lizzie wasn't weak because of the way she died, and shaming someone for their mental health struggles is pretty fucking despicable. I thought we got garbage books about suicide out of our systems in 2016 with Thirteen Reasons Why, but apparently not. This book was infuriating, and I know I've already said this, but I'm stunned that this doesn't come up more in reviews of this book. 

If you are having suicidal thoughts, please do not feel shame. Your experiences and emotions are valid. You are valid. If you need someone to talk to, you can reach someone day or night at 1-800-273-8255. If texting is more your speed, you can also text HOME to 741741 to reach a crisis counselor. When you call, you'll hear an automated message and be asked to wait on the line until a trained crisis worker answers. Workers don't follow any kind of script, so once someone is on the line, you'll be able to talk to them about whatever you need. No judgment, just support. 

One of Us is Next - Karen M. McManus

My rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

From the cover:

"Come on, Bayview, you know you've missed this.

A ton of copycat gossip apps have popped up since Simon died, but in the year since the Bayview four were cleared of his shocking death, no one's been able to fill the gossip void quite like he could. The problem is no one has the facts.

Until now.

This time it's not an app, though - it's a game.

Truth or dare.

Phoebe's the first target. If you choose not to play, it's a truth. And hers is dark.

Then comes Maeve, and she should know better - always choose the dare.

But by the time Knox is about to be tagged, things have gotten dangerous. The dares have become deadly, and if Maeve learned anything from Bronwyn last year, it's that they can't count on the police for help. Or protection.

Simon's gone, but someone's determined to keep his legacy at Bayview High alive. And this time, there's a whole new set of rules."

My reading experience with this book on three acts:

Act One - Let's take this slow. Read a chapter or two a day. Let the suspense build.

Act Two, maybe a day later - Ok, this book is incredible, but I'm only about halfway through. I am definitely not going to stay up late and finish this tonight.

Act Three, several hours later - Hot fuckin damn, that ending!

Bayview High is back on their bullshit, but something about this time is different. For one thing, Phoebe knows she didn't tell anyone her secret, and there's no reason the only other person who knew about it would either...so how did Simon's copycat find out? For another, why turn it into a game at all? Most of the dares are fairly tame, and isn't the whole point of a stunt like this to out people's shameful secrets? Then there's everything going on outside the game - Phoebe's sister suddenly acting out of character, Knox's boss getting repeated death threats, and a mysterious man showing up at the restaurant where they all hang out.

Maeve, who helped unravel everything that happened the year before, is sure she's onto something again when she stumbles across a web forum exactly like the one Simon used to post on before it got shut down. Is the copycat following in Simon's footsteps? Or is she just seeing what she wants to see? Only time will tell...but how much time do they have left?

WOO! Karen McManus can write a book, y'all. At one point I literally clutched my chest and gasped out loud. And there were so many times where I thought I had things all figured out, only to have another curveball lobbed at me. What a ride. If you haven't read One of Us is Lying, read it, then read this. If you have, then what are you waiting for? Read this!

Burn for Burn trilogy - Jenny Han and Siobhan Vivian

HAPPY NEW YEAR! Let's ring in 2020 with a review from a terrible trilogy, shall we? I promised a review of the full trilogy, and you'll get it, but before we dive in, content warning: This book centers pretty heavily around suicide and also touches on sexual assault, both in a way that is ludicrously casual and blase. I gave the first two books three stars, but honestly, if Goodreads allowed half stars it would have been lower. Overall, I'd rate the entire trilogy at about a 2.3. There are some good elements and there were opportunities to open a dialogue about some difficult topics that young people face, but instead.......it all kinda went off the rails.

Now...the administrative stuff. My rating for each book and the descriptions. Be warned: Spoilers ahead. Also be warned: This review is very stream-of-consciousness. I'm tired, and I'm tired of these books.

Burn for Burn:
⭐⭐⭐

From the cover:

Postcard-perfect Jar Island is home to charming tourist shops, pristine beaches, amazing oceanfront homes—and three girls secretly plotting revenge.

KAT is sick and tired of being bullied by her former best friend.

LILLIA has always looked out for her little sister, so when she discovers that one of her guy friends has been secretly hooking up with her, she’s going to put a stop to it.

MARY is perpetually haunted by a traumatic event from years past, and the boy who’s responsible has yet to get what’s coming to him.

None of the girls can act on their revenge fantasies alone without being suspected. But together…anything is possible.

With an alliance in place, there will be no more “I wish I’d said…” or “If I could go back and do things differently...” These girls will show Jar Island that revenge is a dish best enjoyed together.

Fire with Fire:
⭐⭐⭐

From the cover:

Lillia, Kat, and Mary had the perfect plan. Work together in secret to take down the people who wronged them. But things didn’t exactly go the way they’d hoped at the Homecoming Dance.

Not even close.

For now, it looks like they got away with it. All they have to do is move on and pick up the pieces, forget there ever was a pact. But it’s not easy, not when Reeve is still a total jerk and Rennie’s meaner than she ever was before.

And then there’s sweet little Mary…she knows there’s something seriously wrong with her. If she can’t control her anger, she’s sure that someone will get hurt even worse than Reeve was. Mary understands now that it’s not just that Reeve bullied her—it’s that he made her love him.

Eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth, burn for a burn. A broken heart for a broken heart. The girls are up to the task. They’ll make Reeve fall in love with Lillia and then they will crush him. It’s the only way he’ll learn.

It seems once a fire is lit, the only thing you can do is let it burn...

Ashes to Ashes:
⭐⭐

From the cover:

New Year's Eve ended with a bang and Mary, Kat and Lillia may not be prepared for what is to come.

After Rennie's death, Kat and Lillia try to put the pieces together of what happened to her. They both blame themselves. If Lillia hadn't left with Reeve... If Kat had only stayed with Rennie... Things could have been different. Now they will never be the same.

Only Mary knows the truth about that night. About what she is. She also knows the truth about Lillia and Reeve falling in love, about Reeve being happy when all he deserves is misery, just like the misery he caused her. Now their childish attempts at revenge are a thing of the past and Mary is out for blood. Will she leave anything in her wake or will all that remain be ashes?

💭      💭     💭

So...yeah. These books are a little bit of a soap opera. The "alliance" formed between the three girls is pretty flimsy, especially since it's clear pretty early on that Alex is a decent guy and for sure should not have been lumped in with Rennie, the actual worst person in existence, and Reeve, her evil twin in worstness. Which brings me to one of my issues with this trilogy: the character "development" is all over the place.

Reeve and Rennie are pretty firmly established in the first book as the worst kind of bullying garbage human, people who are horrible for no reason but to be horrible, controlling even with their friends, and basically treat everyone but each other like shit. Then you get toward the end of the second book, and there's a pretty hard pivot to try and make them, Reeve especially, sympathetic characters. I'm fully on board with there being two sides to every story, you never know what's going on in a person's life to make them who they are, etc, etc, etc...but you have to at least give GLIMPSES of the better side to someone's personality earlier on, otherwise I just don't buy it. Readers didn't see a different side to Reeve or Rennie...the authors created a whole new character and swapped them in for the old ones. Nah.

Beyond the sloppy character development, pretty much everything about this book was just...all over the place. It felt like multiple genres mashed into one, like there were so many ideas for the plot and the characters that instead of choosing a few and following them through, the authors decided to squeeze them all in. At the same time, the plot often moved at a glacial pace. The first two books were, for me, kind of like the book equivalent of the saying about passing a car wreck that's so bad, you want to look away but you can't. Things were so off the rails, that I couldn't help but want to keep reading, just to see how much nonsense could be stuffed into a book. I read the first two books out loud to my husband, and no lie, we would read together and crack up every time some bonkers thing was thrown in. This entertainment factor wasn't enough to keep my husband's interest, though, so I read the third book by myself, and oof, I'm glad it did, because it was...bad.

Remember the content warning from the beginning about suicide. Yeah, the third book is rough and does an incredibly shitty job of handling discussion about suicide. We're going to get into it now, so for real, CONTENT WARNING. Please do not read this (both my review and this ridiculous trilogy) if suicide is a trigger for you.

For starters, you find out at the end of the second book that Mary, the character who had attempted suicide, actually completed suicide and is, in fact, a ghost. A ghost, we learn, who didn't actually intend to die by suicide...she was just mad at Reeve for being a dick and wanted to make him feel bad, so she was going to *pretend* to attempt suicide, I guess? (this whole plotline gets a yike from me). Then, because Mary is still so furious at Reeve for taking her life away from her, she spends most of the third book trying to force Reeve to also die by suicide. (Let's award another few yikes for that!) And finally, we get to the last chapter, where Mary first forces Reeve to slit his wrists (YIKES) and then immediately realizes that it wasn't Reeve's fault she died, it was hers! She was the one who made the decision to attempt suicide, so she was the one who bore the guilt of ending her life (YIKES YIKES YIKES YOU GUYS!) It's all bad. It's so bad. No.

Honestly, if I hadn't used Ashes to Ashes as a #FirstPageFriday, I would never have finished it. Looking back, I should have stopped reading it and just said in the review that I couldn't finish it, but in case it took a turn for the better, I didn't want to judge it too harshly without actually knowing how it ended. I should have figured, after the first two books, shit wasn't going to suddenly improve, but you know...gotta hope for the best, I guess. Lesson learned. 10/10, don't read this trilogy. If you want something by Jenny Han, read To All the Boys I've Loved Before. Watch the movie too, while you're at it. I've never read anything else by Siobhan Vivian, but if you have and you enjoyed it, let me know. I'll give it a shot. For now, I'll be on the hunt for a palate cleanser. Too bad I already reread Fangirl, aka, the most perfect book of all time.

#FirstPageFriday - Ashes to Ashes

Once again, I'm doing a #FirstPageFriday featuring the last book in a trilogy after not reviewing the previous books. Such a slacker move! The review will encompass the whole trilogy, and be warned: there will be spoilers. Also be warned...this trilogy is ridiculous. I can't wait to finish it. And I can't wait for the review to drop on January 1st. First review of the year, woohoo!

Holding Up the Universe - Jennifer Niven

My rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

From the cover:

"Everyone thinks they know Libby Strout, the girl once dubbed “America’s Fattest Teen.” But no one’s taken the time to look past her weight to get to know who she really is. Following her mom’s death, she’s been picking up the pieces in the privacy of her home, dealing with her heartbroken father and her own grief. Now, Libby’s ready: for high school, for new friends, for love, and for every possibility life has to offer. In that moment, I know the part I want to play here at MVB High. I want to be the girl who can do anything. 

Everyone thinks they know Jack Masselin, too. Yes, he’s got swagger, but he’s also mastered the impossible art of giving people what they want, of fitting in. What no one knows is that Jack has a newly acquired secret: he can’t recognize faces. Even his own brothers are strangers to him. He’s the guy who can re-engineer and rebuild anything, but he can’t understand what’s going on with the inner workings of his brain. So he tells himself to play it cool: Be charming. Be hilarious. Don’t get too close to anyone.

Until he meets Libby. When the two get tangled up in a cruel high school game—which lands them in group counseling and community service—Libby and Jack are both pissed, and then surprised. Because the more time they spend together, the less alone they feel. Because sometimes when you meet someone, it changes the world, theirs and yours."

YES, Libby! I was a touch nervous going into this book because of how much I loved All the Bright Places, but there was no need to be. Once again, Jennifer Niven has delivered.

Libby Strout is starting her junior year of high school, returning to public school after being homeschooled and ultimately ending up housebound following her mother's death when she was 10. Starting high school is a lot for anyone, so Libby is understandably nervous, but she's ready. She has a plan. She's prepared for the anxiety. And she's not going to let anyone stop her from living her life. Because Libby? Is a badass.

Jack Masselin is one of the popular kids at school. Everyone wants to be him, but nobody knows that he has a secret. Jack can't recognize people by their faces, and his prosopagnosia has become the defining feature of his life. Everything, from what he does during the day to who his friends are, all centers around keeping his face blindness a secret. He has engineered a life he can live in survival mode, but this carefully constructed existence is about to be shattered.

After Jack, in a misguided effort to spare her humiliation, drags Libby into a shitty high school "game" his friends cooked up and the two of them find themselves in group counseling together, the two are shocked to find themselves drawn to each other. Libby is confident, fearless, and speaks her mind, which is exactly what Jack needs. Jack turns out to be introspective and creative, and Libby is realizing that the boy she wrote off at the beginning of the school year might actually be someone she could fall for. Will their burgeoning relationship survive the tumultuous waters of high school? Or is this a relationship that is doomed to fail?

Seeing Libby and Jack blossom alongside each other is a delight, but if you ask me the real MVP of this book? Dusty Masselin, Jack's youngest brother. This little dude just...my heart. He is such a beautiful soul, and being totally honest, I could read a whole book just following him as he goes about his day being a sweet, kind, heartwarming tiny human. Dusty deserves all the happiness in the universe, and if I could meet any character in this book and give them a hug or a high five, it would be him. If you don't read this book for anyone else, read it for Dusty.

Jack of Hearts (and Other Parts) - L.C. Rosen

My rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐

From the cover:

"My first time getting it in the butt was kind of weird. I think it's going to be weird for everyone's first time, though.

Meet Jack Rothman. He's seventeen and loves partying, makeup and boys - sometimes all at the same time. His sex life makes him the hot topic for the high school gossip machine. But who cares? Like Jack always says, 'it could be worse'.

He doesn't actually expect that to come true.

But after Jack starts writing an online sex advice column, the mysterious love letters he's been getting take a turn for the creepy. Jack's secret admirer knows everything: where he's hanging out, who he's sleeping with, who his mum is dating. They claim they love Jack, but not his unashamedly queer lifestyle. They need him to curb his sexuality, or they'll force him.

As the pressure mounts, Jack must unmask his stalker before their obsession becomes genuinely dangerous..."

There is a dearth of sex-positive books out there for young people, especially with LGBTQ* representation, so I give this book a resounding "yes, please!" I am endlessly glad that Rosen showed his first ninety-nine pages to friends and that those friends talked them into continuing to write Jack's story, because the world needs more books like this and more characters like Jack and his friends.

"I know lots of kids want to be famous, and yeah, I like attention, but I'd much prefer it for things I do--like dress amazing and say witty things--than who I do."

Jack is infamous around his high school. Rumors fly after every party--the book starts with a trio of girls discussing his alleged "fourgy" in a hot tub over the weekend, for instance. Most of these rumors aren't true, but that hasn't stopped people from believing everything they hear before, and it certainly won't in Jack's case. Fortunately, Jack's best friend started a website after being kicked off the school newspaper, and she comes up with the perfect way to harness Jack's reputation as a sexpert...a write-in advice column for students.

When Jenna first pitches him the idea, Jack is hesitant. He commits to writing one column, but doesn't plan to let her plan go any further than that. Much to his surprise, though, his fellow students respond well to the column, and he finds himself enjoying writing for the website. The only downside  to his new "sexlebrity" status is that mysterious pink notes have begun appearing in his locker, and they've quickly gone from intriguing to straight-up creepy.

"It could be worse." He tells his friends after finally admitting to them how disturbing the notes have become. Jenna won't let him dismiss things that easily, though. "That might be true, but that doesn't mean it's not bad. That doesn't mean you don't try to stop it from being bad."

As tension escalated and Jack and his friends went through plan after failed plan to unmask his stalker and get them to leave him home, I found it harder and harder to put this book down. I loved Jack from the first page, and it tore at my heart to see him doubt himself, toning his fashion down and retreating inward as he struggled with what to do and how to keep his friends and family safe. This would have been a solid 5-star read for me if it had been twenty pages longer. My one big gripe with the book is the rushed ending. I was reading an electronic version, and I couldn't believe it when I got to the end...at first I thought maybe my download hadn't completed properly and I was missing the last chapter or something. Everything was just a little too abrupt and anticlimactic, which was a let down after being so riveted through the entire book. That aside, though, incredible. More like this, please!

Little and Lion - Brandy Colbert

My rating: ⭐⭐

From the cover:

"When Suzette comes home to Los Angeles from her boarding school in New England, she isn't sure if she'll ever want to go back. L.A. is where her friends and family are (along with her crush, Emil). And her stepbrother, Lionel, who has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, needs her emotional support.

But as she settles into her old life, Suzette finds herself falling for someone new...the same girl her brother is in love with. When Lionel's disorder spirals out of control, Suzette is forced to confront her past mistakes and find a way to help her brother before he hurts himself--or worse."

There was a lot to look forward to going into this book...diverse books, characters of different races and backgrounds, LGBT (particularly B!) representation, frank discussion of mental illness...but not a lot that I ended up loving, sadly. The synopsis wrote checks that the actual content couldn't cash. As a disclaimer, I do think that the meh-ness of this book for me was partially due to the fact that I listened to the audiobook and was not in love with the reader. However, I also felt that the pacing of the book was slow and that way too much time was spent hashing and rehashing the same small issues, rather than developing the story. The beginning was intriguing, but then it went nowhere. Readers (or listeners, in this case) shouldn't have to slog through 90% of a book before something actually happens, and even when things finally DID come to a head, the drama of it all fell flat for me. I give this an A+ for concept but a C- for execution.

Leah on the Offbeat - Becky Albertalli

My rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐

From the cover:

"Leah Burke—girl-band drummer, master of deadpan, and Simon Spier’s best friend from the award-winning Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda—takes center stage in this novel of first love and senior-year angst.

When it comes to drumming, Leah Burke is usually on beat—but real life isn’t always so rhythmic. An anomaly in her friend group, she’s the only child of a young, single mom, and her life is decidedly less privileged. She loves to draw but is too self-conscious to show it. And even though her mom knows she’s bisexual, she hasn’t mustered the courage to tell her friends—not even her openly gay BFF, Simon.

So Leah really doesn’t know what to do when her rock-solid friend group starts to fracture in unexpected ways. With prom and college on the horizon, tensions are running high. It’s hard for Leah to strike the right note while the people she loves are fighting—especially when she realizes she might love one of them more than she ever intended."

Leah Burke is my filthy-mouthed high school BFF soul mate. I started this book after I came home from work a couple days ago and finished it before I went in for work the next day. It was hard to put down, and honestly I would have finished it faster, except I kept stopping to text my sister my favorite Leah one-liners. This book is hilarious. 

Those of you who weren't fans of Leah in Simon Vs. may not dig this one, but if you were down with her in the first book and want more of their world, pick this up. It had its flaws--mainly, for me, dragging out the drama between Leah and Abby too long and then hastily wrapping all the conflict in an epilogue--but hot damn, it will hook you and keep you giggling. It's a good read.

Dear Martin - Nic Stone

My rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐

From the cover:

"Raw, captivating, and undeniably real, Nic Stone joins industry giants Jason Reynolds and Walter Dean Myers as she boldly tackles American race relations in this stunning debut.

Justyce McAllister is top of his class and set for the Ivy League—but none of that matters to the police officer who just put him in handcuffs. And despite leaving his rough neighborhood behind, he can't escape the scorn of his former peers or the ridicule of his new classmates. Justyce looks to the teachings of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. for answers. But do they hold up anymore? He starts a journal to Dr. King to find out.

Then comes the day Justyce goes driving with his best friend, Manny, windows rolled down, music turned up—way up, sparking the fury of a white off-duty cop beside them. Words fly. Shots are fired. Justyce and Manny are caught in the crosshairs. In the media fallout, it's Justyce who is under attack."

I'm getting very behind in writing reviews, so disclaimer: they're gonna be short and sweet until I get caught up.

I read this the weekend that Childish Gambino's "This is America" music video came out, so I got to the most intense part of this book and watched the music video within an hour or so of each other. Fuuuuuuuuck. Can't get either one out of my head. After things went down during Justyce and Manny's car ride, I felt viscerally angry when stories on the news came out trying to paint Justyce as a thug and when the defense attorney in the police officer's trial brought up things unrelated to the shooting, trying to make it sound like Manny deserved what he got. Excellent job, Nic Stone, on writing a book that makes the reader feel so fired up. Justyce's emotions really came through, and the injustice going on throughout the book made me furious. The only downside I found listening to the audiobook, and the reason I only gave it four stars, is that format of the book didn't always lend itself to being read aloud. There were points where the story felt stilted or abrupt, and I wonder if that was because of the format. Definitely planning to read the physical book and see if it flows a little better...which in all honesty is not a downside. It was an excellent book, and I'm looking forward to reading it again and hopefully bumping this review up to a five-star.

American Street - Ibi Zoboi

My rating: ⭐⭐⭐

From the cover:

"The rock in the water does not know the pain of the rock in the sun.

On the corner of American Street and Joy Road, Fabiola Toussaint thought she would finally find une belle vie—a good life.

But after they leave Port-au-Prince, Haiti, Fabiola’s mother is detained by U.S. immigration, leaving Fabiola to navigate her loud American cousins, Chantal, Donna, and Princess; the grittiness of Detroit’s west side; a new school; and a surprising romance, all on her own.

Just as she finds her footing in this strange new world, a dangerous proposition presents itself, and Fabiola soon realizes that freedom comes at a cost. Trapped at the crossroads of an impossible choice,  will she pay the price for the American dream?"

Fabiola came to the United States with her mother from Haiti, planning to move to Detroit and live with her aunt and cousins. When they arrive in the United States, however, Fabiola's mother is detained by immigration, and Fabiola is forced to continue on to Detroit alone. Once there, she pushes tirelessly to find a way to free her mother, even as she adjusts to life in the United States, making friends and even getting a boyfriend. Sadly, however comfortable she may start to feel, Detroit is different from Haiti in ways she couldn't expect, and there are things about her new life she couldn't possibly understand. When Fabiola gets in over her head in her quest to get her mother to Detroit, will she be able to find her footing and make things right? Or will her new life be forever altered?

I've been putting off writing this review for a long time because while there were things I really enjoyed about the book, it also had some pretty big flaws, and I wasn't sure what to say about it. The one big issue I struggled with was that it tried to do a lot and consequently lacked character and plot development and seemed to lose the thread of different storylines partway through, then pick back up later in ways that didn't quite connect to me. Possibly the biggest example of this, for me anyway, was Fab's relationship with her boyfriend...there just wasn't enough buildup to the relationship for any of the interactions between the two of them to hold any impact, and a lot of the tension in their relationship made no sense to me and seemed over-the-top as a result. I wish some of the branches in the plot had been pared down, because despite doing way too much, it was a good read, and the world needs more titles like this one. Ultimately, while this wasn't my favorite book, I did enjoy it, and I recommend picking it up if you're looking for something new to read. If you're an audiobook fan, the narrator did a fantastic job--it's definitely worth a listen.

Four-Letter Word - Christa Desir

My rating: ⭐⭐

From the cover:

"Eight friends. One game. A dozen regrets. And a night that will ruin them all, in this high stakes gripping story of manipulation and innocence lost, from the author of Bleed Like Me.

Chloe Sanders has wasted the better part of her junior year watching her best friend Eve turn away from her for the more interesting and popular Holly Reed. Living with her grandparents because her parents are currently serving as overseas volunteers, Chloe spends her days crushing on a dark-haired guy named Mateo, being mostly ignored by Eve and Holly, and wishing the cornfields of Iowa didn’t feel so incredibly lonely.

But shortly after spring break, a new girl transfers to her high school—Chloe Donnelly. This Chloe is bold and arty and instantly placed on a pedestal by Eve and Holly. Now suddenly everyone is referring to Chloe Sanders as “Other Chloe” and her social status plummets even more.

Until Chloe Donnelly introduces all her friends to a dangerous game: a girls vs. guys challenge that only has one rule—obtain information by any means necessary. All the warning bells are going off in Other Chloe’s head about the game, but she’s not about to commit social suicide by saying no to playing.

Turns out the game is more complicated than Other Chloe thinks. Chloe Donnelly hates to lose. She's got power over everyone—secrets she’s exploiting—and she likes to yank their strings. Only soft-spoken Mateo is sick of it, and when the game turns nasty, he chooses Other Chloe to help him expose everything Chloe Donnelly has done. But neither realize just how much the truth could cost them in the end."

The blurb from the cover is a pretty accurate description of the book...the plot centers around this group of eight students playing multiple games of Gestapo, things progressively getting more tense until everything blows up, Chloe Donnelly ends up missing, and the other seven teens are implicated in her disappearance..dun dun dun! 

Obviously I did not enjoy this book, but good lord, where do I even begin? 

Main character Chloe is boring, sanctimonious, and incredibly judgmental. Even more irritatingly, most of her judgement is sandwiched in her self-pity over how everyone else is sooooo mean to her. Basically the entire book is her keeping up a running mental commentary of how useless and beneath her the people around her are, interspersed with self-satisfied reminders of how patient and tolerant she is. I don't understand if Desir wrote her as an unsympathetic character on purpose, but I couldn't stand her. Some particularly cringe examples of her awfulness:

"Eve smiled smugly as if she was the reason he'd agreed to play again, which I didn't believe for a second was the case. Chloe Donnelly must have talked him into it. Which meant she probably found out something about him. Or maybe they were hooking up on the sly, an she had him pussy-whipped or whatever that absolutely gross term was for when a guy did everything a girl said."

LMAO what?! Be a little more holier-than-thou in your feminism, right after throwing out the term "pussy-whipped" like you aren't sure you have it right.

"For a second I felt bad for him, for his small life filled with detention and post-lunch make-out sessions with his girlfriend. For his grudging promise to Holly of "no more girls" that made me wonder if he'd fooled around a lot and why. He was never going to leave Grinnell, no matter how often he took off in his car. High school was probably going to be the best time of his life. He'd be stuck in this town til he became like one of the old guys Pops hung out with at the farm store. Cam was nothing like his brother. All that wasted singing talent he'd never do anything with. Aiden would give up everything to get out of here, but not Cam. Too lazy or too defeated. It was sad, really. But before I could spend more time on the pity train, I shook myself and remembered how easily he dropped to his knees in front of Chloe Donnelly, and all my compassion stalled out."

Again, not sure if this is a deliberate choice on Desir's part or what, but holy shit, compassion? Is that compassion? Am I taking crazy pills? And finally...

"I sounded prudish and judgmental like the churchy girls who took "purity pictures" with their dads in this slightly gross way and then posted them online."

Providing the context for this was way too long a quote, but to set the scene, her friend reveals that she bought Ritalin from someone to help her focus on schoolwork after revealing what sounded to me to be some kind of learning disability, and Chloe tears her down and is horrible to her about it, then says this. This was far from the most sanctimonious bit of their conversation, but I had to go back and read it several times because.......what a weird comparison to make. Seriously, tell me. Am I supposed to like her?!

As if her preachy, hypocritical, self-satisfied judgement toward everyone else weren't enough, pretty early on in the book she stands there and watches her drunk supposed best friend get sexually assaulted and not only does she not say anything or try to help, she later (more than once!) throws the incident in her friend's face. Jesus H Christ, really? Are we supposed to like her?!

Moving past Chloe being the worst, this whole story was stuck in her head, and I feel like nothing got developed properly. It would be better, and maybe Chloe would even have seemed more likable, if more character and plot development had been described rather than narrated in Chloe's stream-of-consciousness litany of the faults of others and why nothing was her fault. I'm not averse to first person point of view, but this whole book was Chloe's self-narration, and not only did her mental voice get old fast, the limited description available meant that none of the other characters got any real development. Why should I care about Mateo when all I'm given about him is what benefits Chloe? What's the point of showing the soft side of douchebag Cam when it goes nowhere and leaves us picturing him as an irredeemable asshole? And finally, we spend the entire book on these games and trying to figure out what is going on with Chloe Donnelly, and then all that mystery is revealed in an epilogue? Really? There's not even any actual resolution, it's just "oh hey, you all got catfished by a 19-year-old computer genius with vague mental issues who catfished all of you for funsies, but there's nothing the police can do about it, sorry. The end." 

I read this book because the description and title were intriguing, but it was like reading the diary of a selfish, spoiled, overly-critical asshole, with absolutely no payoff at the end.

How to Breathe Underwater - Vicky Skinner

My rating: ⭐⭐

From the cover:

"Kate’s father has been pressuring her to be perfect for her whole life, pushing her to be the best swimmer she can be. But when Kate finds her dad cheating on her mom, Kate’s perfect world comes crashing down, and Kate is forced to leave home and the swim team she's been a part of her whole life.

Now in a new home, new school, and faced with the prospect of starting over, Kate isn't so sure that swimming is what she wants anymore. But when she decides to quit, her whole world seems to fall apart. But when Kate gets to know Michael, the cute boy that lives across the hall, she starts to think that starting over might not be so bad. There's only one problem: Michael has a girlfriend.

As the pressures of love, family, and success press down on her, can Kate keep her head above water?"

While there were small portions of this that I enjoyed, I think my favorite thing about it was that it was short enough to finish reading in a few hours on my plane ride to Washington DC. Just reading the synopsis clues you in on what the book will be like--kind of choppy, not always very well thought out, and a little repetitive. 

This book had a lot going on. Kate's dad cheats on her mom, resulting in chapter one: Kate moves to Portland with her mom. In the aftermath of The Affair, we get Kate despising her dad and quitting swimming because everything good about it is now outweighed by the bad. We also see Kate alternately worrying about her mom and her mom basically not existing, Kate helping her sister leave her husband-to-be at the alter and then watching her obviously struggle with depression. We meet Michael and learn about his mom's bad health. We discover, after Kate has fallen hard in a matter of minutes for him, that Michael is dating Patrice, *gasp* one of the two girls Kate met in her first five minutes at school and almost immediately became best friends with. After this revelation, we are repeatedly treated to Kate's conflicting emotions over wanting to be friends with Patrice versus wanting to be with Michael...although if we're being real, this is more Kate lamenting the fact that Patrice is dating Michael so she can't be. Finally, throughout the book, we are witness to Kate struggling to keep her relationship with her long-time best friend alive after it immediately fell apart the second she moved. With so many big conflicts, there wasn't enough time to devote to all of it, and it left everything feeling rushed and under-developed. 

Then, of course, there's Kate being the shittiest friend ever. After she meets Patrice, the reader is treated to multiple references to how unbelievably kind she is. Kate not only finds out Patrice is dating Michael, she later learns from Michael's best friend that the poor girl has been into him for basically her whole life. Then Michael dumps Patrice after she stays with him all night at the hospital and within a matter of hours declares his feelings for Kate and makes out with her in his kitchen. Later that day, Kate spends time with Patrice and sees how upset she is. She tells Michael about it, and Michael says that they can wait a bit to start dating if Kate thinks it would be better for Patrice. Kate, in true amazing friend form, is like, "nah, dude, why should I wait to spare my friend's feelings? Let's do this thing." Like.......are we supposed to feel bad for her when Patrice calls her out and everyone is being mean to her? I do feel bad for her when the swim team calls her a slut, because that's pretty much always a fucked up thing to do to someone, but beyond that...Kate was a total dick. She kinda had it coming.

Next up...Michael being described as "too nice" to break up with Patrice even though he didn't have, and had never had, feelings for her, as though this makes him some kind of fucking white knight. Ugh. Just no. It's not a nice thing to agree to go out with someone that you don't like. It's not nice to continue dating them so you can use them when you're bummed out about your mom and ignore them the rest of the time. It's not nice to not break up with someone that you don't care about to spare their feelings. Nothing about that situation made him a nice guy, and it floors me that Kate was privy to Patrice's side of their relationship and didn't have a problem with it. What's more, I think the book would have been better without the needless, forced bit of love triangle drama. Why must we constantly pit two girls against each other in a quest for the same guy? Why is this such a go-to conflict? Be more creative.

I could go on and on about the things in this book that got under my skin, but it feels like overkill. At the end of the day...I was intrigued by the premise of this book, but it squandered its potential. With so many amazing books out there, this one is lackluster. There are better options out there. Read one of those.

Turtles All the Way Down - John Green

My rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

From the cover:

"Sixteen-year-old Aza never intended to pursue the mystery of fugitive billionaire Russell Pickett, but there’s a hundred-thousand-dollar reward at stake and her Best and Most Fearless Friend, Daisy, is eager to investigate. So together, they navigate the short distance and broad divides that separate them from Russell Pickett’s son, Davis.

Aza is trying. She is trying to be a good daughter, a good friend, a good student, and maybe even a good detective, while also living within the ever-tightening spiral of her own thoughts. 

In his long-awaited return, John Green, the acclaimed, award-winning author of Looking for Alaska and The Fault in Our Stars, shares Aza’s story with shattering, unflinching clarity in this brilliant novel of love, resilience, and the power of lifelong friendship."

This book is wonderful in so many ways. A few of those ways: 

First, Aza and Daisy's relationship is so interesting...both the way they balanced each other out and the way they handled conflict. It's always refreshing when I read a book like this, with best friends who genuinely love and want the best for each other, even when they clash with each other. They got upset with each other, for valid reasons, but they never lost sight of how much they cared about each other, and they did their best to show that even when they were fighting.

Second, it was touching to see the relationship between Aza and Davis develop. The two of them were so unique and had been through so much, I was worried that their burgeoning relationship would end up being just like every other realistic fiction romance. Now, this is John Green we're dealing with here, so I'm not sure why I was worried, but of course I didn't need to be. The two of them together were just as one-of-a-kind as they are individually, and as bittersweet as it was to watch them struggle to find a balance as they grew closer to each other, I loved every minute of it. 

Finally, Aza's struggle with her mental health felt so real that at times it was difficult to read about. As hard as it was, though, we need more books like this. We need books that dig into what it's like to struggle with things like OCD, depression, anxiety...more books that help us realize that, while we may feel like everything is wrong with us and nothing about us is normal, there are people all around us going through that same struggle. The thing that particularly resonated with me was Aza's worry that if you need a pill to make you feel like yourself, then the self you are while taking that pill is not actually you. I know people who have struggled with this very thing, so to read a book with a character going through that hit me hard. Give me more books that help me understand what struggles like this feel like. I want them all.

First & Then - Emma Mills

My rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

From the cover:

"Devon Tennyson wouldn't change a thing. She's happy watching Friday night games from the bleachers, silently crushing on best friend Cas, and blissfully ignoring the future after high school. But the universe has other plans. It delivers Devon's cousin Foster, an unrepentant social outlier with a surprising talent for football, and the obnoxiously superior and maddeningly attractive star running back, Ezra, right where she doesn't want them: first into her P.E. class and then into every other aspect of her life.

Pride and Prejudice meets Friday Night Lights in this contemporary novel about falling in love with the unexpected boy, with a new brother, and with yourself."

Well...I read this in like three hours, so take that for what it's worth. There was a lot more Friday Night Lights to this than Pride and Prejudice, but it was a cute story and a nice, light read. The way things turn out isn't any big secret--it's pretty obvious from the start how everything is going to play out--but that's kind of the appeal for me. I love a heavy, emotional story, but sometimes it's nice to read something like this, with everyday problems faced by every day people. A sweet story about family and young love. Books like these are the sorbet of the literary world...the perfect pallet cleanser after a string of more intense reads. Bonus: This is a perfect recommendation for reluctant readers with a soft spot for YA romance. It pulls you in fast, moves at a good pace, and keeps you hooked until the end.

The Hate U Give - Angie Thomas

My rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

From the cover:

"Sixteen-year-old Starr Carter moves between two worlds: the poor neighborhood where she lives and the fancy suburban prep school she attends. The uneasy balance between these worlds is shattered when Starr witnesses the fatal shooting of her childhood best friend Khalil at the hands of a police officer. Khalil was unarmed.

Soon afterward, his death is a national headline. Some are calling him a thug, maybe even a drug dealer and a gangbanger. Protesters are taking to the streets in Khalil's name. Some cops and the local drug lord try to intimidate Starr and her family. What everyone wants to know is: what really went down that night? And the only person alive who can answer that is Starr.

But what Starr does or does not say could upend her community. It could also endanger her life. "

Everyone should read this book. It might as well be non-fiction...it sure as hell felt like non-fiction. I don't live in Starr's world, and THUG is such an eye-opening glimpse into how differently kids in her situation grow up compared to how I did. I get nervous when there's a cop behind me in traffic because getting a ticket would be inconvenient. Kids like Starr grow up being taught how to behave with police officers to hopefully, fingers crossed, if everything goes well, not end up beaten or dead. 

Let that sink in, man.

Kids in Starr's situation are growing up legitimately afraid for their lives. Jesus Christ. 

Read this book. Then give it to a friend and get them to read it.

Moxie - Jennifer Mathieu

My rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐

From the cover:

"Moxie girls fight back!

Vivian Carter is fed up. Fed up with her small-town Texas high school that thinks the football team can do no wrong. Fed up with sexist dress codes and hallway harassment. But most of all, Viv Carter is fed up with always following the rules.

Viv’s mom was a punk rock Riot Grrrl in the ’90s, so now Viv takes a page from her mother’s past and creates a feminist zine that she distributes anonymously to her classmates. She’s just blowing off steam, but other girls respond. Pretty soon Viv is forging friendships with other young women across the divides of cliques and popularity rankings, and she realizes that what she has started is nothing short of a girl revolution."

I mostly loved this, so let's start with the good stuff. It was beautiful to read a book about young women pushing back against negative behavior, and it was particularly awesome to see them courageously do so even with the fear that no one else would be standing next to them when they did. Awesome. It's hard to do that, and women of all ages need to see more examples of badass women taking a stand. Additionally, I greatly appreciated that the tension between Viv and her BFF after Viv started spending more time with the new girl was resolved in such a sweet way (although I do wish it hadn't come at the hands of sexual assault. Grrrrr.). Just as we need more examples of fantastic, courageous, vocal women, the world could do with fewer catty, pointless fights between friends. Kudos to Jennifer Mathieu for writing characters with the maturity to resolve their issues through communication and trust. Finally, it was refreshing to see romance included that supplemented, but did not supersede, the main narrative. Feminists need love too, so I'm not opposed to romantic elements in stories like this, but so often the romance becomes the focal point. Mathieu did a great job of weaving Viv's young love into the story in a balanced way.

Now...a couple of things that really got under my skin. One, there's no superintendent or school district administration to go to? I get that douchebag #1's dad was the principal, so no one at the school could be gone to for assistance, but for fuck's sake go over his head! How did it get to the point where this crazy-ass principal was trying to suspend/expel a third of the school before something happened? Bonkers. Second, Viv's clashes with her boyfriend when he said stupid things. I have a husband, and said husband is not a lady, so on occasion it can be hard for him to fully grasp the difficulties of womanhood. Consequently, he says dumb shit sometimes. When he does, I have two options. Option A: Get mad at him because he just couldn't understand. Option B: HELP HIM BE AN ALLY. Why is what he is saying frustrating? How could he reframe his thinking to be supportive instead? There were soooooooo many chances for Viv to be like, "look, bud, I get that not all guys are bad. It's awesome that you have cool, super into baseball stats, bros to eat lunch with. Would said cool bros be interested in joining the cause?" Open up a dialogue, yo. Help him understand.

Anyhoo...overall, fantastic read. I highly recommend it.